Kim Kardashian

Why Don't Girls Like Me?

The questions young people ask:

Michael: I'm really impressing Janet. I've told her all about myself-the amount of wealth I have, the places I have been, the people I know, the kind of house I live. She must be dying to date me!

Janet: why is Michael disturbing me for God sake? I wish the ground could open and swallow me up! Can't he take a hint? How can I end this conversation without being rude?

YES, you're old enough to date. You'd like to find someone who is attractive and who shares your feelings. In the past, though, each time you felt as though you crashed and burnt.

If you'd like to get to know a girl better, what factors do you need to consider? And what principles would you do well to remember?

Before you decide to pursuit a particular girl, there are some basic skills you need to master, and these will help you to be friend of anyone. Consider the following.

1. Maintain you personal hygiene. Good hygiene shows respect not only for others but also for you. If you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you. On the other hand, if you let your hygiene slide, you'll sabotage your efforts to impress a girl.

WHAT GIRLS SAY: "One boy who was interested in me had really bad breath. I just couldn't get past that."-Mabel, 23.

2. Cultivate good manners. Good manners show that you are matured. However, good manners aren't like a suit you wear to impress others but take off when you get home. Ask yourself, 'do I display good manners when dealing with my family members?' If not, then it will seem force when you do so while interacting with others outside your home. Remember, to find out the type of person you really are, a discerning girl will look at the way you treat members of your family.

WHAT GIRLS SAY: "I am put off when I've just met someone but he asks questions that are too personal, such as 'are you dating?' and 'what are your goals? It's rude and makes me squirm!" -Kathy, 19.

'I definitely find it attractive if a boy displays good manners both in small things, like opening the door for me, and larger things, like being kind and considerate not only to me but also to my family." - Tina, 21

3. Cultivate conversation skills. The basis of a lasting relationship is good combination. This involves discussing not only your interests but also the interests of your friend.

WHAT GIRLS SAY: "I think boys are attracted with what they see, but girls are more attracted to what they hear." - Laura, 22

"I'm impressed when a guy can converse with me naturally, when he can remember things I told him and can ask questions that keep the conversation moving."- Chi, 19.

"I would definitely want to get to know someone better if he had a sense of humor but could also talk about more serious things without sounding fake."- Kelly, 24.

"Gifts are great. But if a boy can hold a good conversation, if he can comfort and encourage you with his words..........wow! That's attractive."- Amy, 21.

Applying the above suggestions will help you to enjoy good friendships. However, once you feel that you are ready to start a serious relationship with a particular girl, what should you do?

4. Take the initiative. If you think a friend whom you admire might make a good marriage mate, let her know you are interested in her. Be clear and forthright in declaring your feelings. Yes, it can be nerve-racking. You fear rejection. But your being willing to take the initiative is a sign that you have grown up.

What girls say: "it could be an awkward transition if you've been friend for a while. But I'd respect someone if he simply said that he would like to get to know me more than just a friend."- Helen, 25

"I can't read minds. So if someone wanted to get to know me straightforward and just tell me."- Nina, 23.

1. Respect the girl's decision. What if your girl says that she doesn't want a more serious relationship with you? Dignify her by believing that she knows her own heart and that her no means no. it betrays a lack of maturity if you make a pest of yourself. Really if you ignore a girl's explicit rejection of your attention-even becoming provoked by her rebuff-are you really thinking of her interests or your own?

What girls say: "it irritates me when I say a definite no to a boy but he keeps on trying."- Kate, 23.

"I explained to one boy that I wasn't interested in him, but he kept pressuring me for my phone number. I wanted to be nice. After all, it probably wasn't easy for him to work up the nerve to express his feeling. But eventually I had to be very firm with him."- Sarah, 24.

WHAT NOT TO DO

Some young men feel that they have little or no trouble getting girls to like them. They may even compete with their peers to show who can grab the attention of the most girls. However, such competition is cruel and will earn you a bad reputation you can avoid this outcome if you do the following:

1. Don't flirt. A flirt uses flattering speech and provocative body language. He has no intention to pursuing an honorable romantic relationship. Such actions and attitudes ignore the counsel to treat young women as sisters with all chasteness. Flirts make poor friends and worse marriage mates. Discerning girls know that.

What girls say: "I think it's very unattractive when someone flatters you but you know that he had said the same things to your friend just last month."- Helen, 25

"This cute boy once stated flirting with me, talking mainly about him. When another girl joined our group, he did the same with her. Then a third girl joined our group, and he used the same lines on her. It was ugly!"-Tina, 20.

2. Don't toy with a girl's feelings. Don't expect that friendship with a member of the opposite sex will operate according to the same rules as friendship with a member of the same sex. Why? Consider: if you marked that a male friend looked good in his new suit or you regularly talk to that friend and confided in him, it is unlikely that he would think that you are romantically attracted to him. But if you compliment a girl on her appearance or you regularly talk to her and confide in her, she may well think that you have a romantic interest in her.